1.原来你会回信息啊，我以为你回我信息犯法呢。

Originally you will return the information ah, I thought you return my information to violate the law.

2.摸摸自己的腿毛，有点扎手，或许这就是扎女吧。

Feel the hair of your legs, a little bit prick, maybe this is the prick girl.

3.在吗？有人借我50块钱吃夜宵吗？我不是骗子，骗子会说明天还，我会说不还。

are you there? Does anyone lend me 50 yuan for supper? I'm not a liar. The liar will say tomorrow, and I will say no.

4.船到桥头自然直，我到六月自然瘦。

I'll be thin in June.

5.太累了，抽一名幸运网友帮我扛下所有。

I'm too tired. I'll take a lucky netizen to help me carry all of them.

6.年龄总是如期而来，忧愁总是不请自来。

Age is always on schedule, sorrow is always unsolicited

7.心狠点，傲气点，难过就少一点。

Be cruel, arrogant and less sad.

8.我欣赏你的直言不讳，但请管好你的嘴。

I appreciate your frankness, but please mind your mouth.

9.与其在别人的生活里跑龙套，不如精彩的做自己。

It's better to be a wonderful self than to run a trick in other people's life.

10.没有什么是一巴掌解决不了的事，如果有，那就两巴掌。

There is nothing that can't be solved by one slap. If there is, two slaps.

11.人还是要有梦想，即使是咸鱼，也要做最咸的那条。

Even if you want to be a salty fish.

12.看别人不顺眼，是因为自己修养不够。

Look at others is not pleasing to the eye, because their own culture is not enough

13.每次跟别人吵完架，总觉得没发挥好，还想再吵一次。

Every time I quarrel with others, I always feel that I haven't played well and I want to fight again.

14.一路走来，我用我的善良，喂了不少没良心的狗。

Along the way, I fed a lot of heartless dogs with my kindness.

15.小事要忍，大事要狠，不要相信任何人。

Small things to bear, big things to be cruel, don't trust anyone

16.请别忽冷忽热，你累，我也反胃。

Please don't be hot or cold. You are tired and I have nausea.